Incoming call

Penny called from inside the closet

She has found the presents. She needs one small thing changed. She begs Santa not to tell.

0:00

SantaHo ho ho! Hello there! This is Santa Claus, calling all the way from the North Pole. Is Penny there?

PennyHi Santa. Can you talk quiet? I'm in the closet.

SantaIn the closet! Goodness. Whatever are you doing in there?

PennyIt's Mommy's closet. Behind the vacuum. It's where the presents are.

SantaAh. Well now, those would be the ones from your mommy and daddy, Penny. Mine come on Christmas Eve.

PennyThere's eleven. I counted. The big one is a scooter. It's blue.

SantaOh, Penny. My goodness.

PennyI wanted purple.

SantaPurple.

PennyCan you tell them purple? But don't say how you know.

SantaPenny, does your mommy know you go in there?

PennyNo. I put the vacuum back the same way. I took a picture first.

SantaYou took a picture. How old are you, Penny?

PennySix. And the big one has a rip, but I fixed it with Daddy's tape.

SantaHo ho. Well! Is there anything else you are wishing for this Christmas?

PennyA lock for my room.

SantaA lock! Why would you need a lock?

PennyBecause people go in your stuff.

SantaI have to go now, Penny. Lots of other good boys and girls are waiting for my call. Merry Christmas!

PennyMerry Christmas. Don't tell Mommy.

SantaBye-bye!

Emailed to Penny's mom, four minutes after the call

Penny's wish list, straight from the North Pole

Wants most

A purple scooter. Not the blue one.

Every wish

  • A purple scooterShe has seen the blue one. She would like you to know that without knowing that she knows.
  • A lock for her room"Because people go in your stuff."

For the grown-ups only

  • Penny has found the presents. All eleven. Behind the vacuum.
  • She took a picture first, so she could put the vacuum back the same way.
  • The big one has a rip. She fixed it with Daddy's tape. Please do not check the tape.
  • She asked me not to tell you. I said bye-bye, which I want noted is not a promise.

Santa

Now imagine it's your kid.

Santa calls them by name and finds out what they're really wishing for. You get the recording and his notes.

Book Santa's call, $19

Penny isn't real. This is a made-up call, performed by synthetic voices for laughs. On a real call Santa is warm, sticks to what you tell him, and never promises a gift.